when it don't come easy

red lights are flashing on the highway i wonder if we're gonna ever get home everywhere the waters getting rough your best intentions may not be enough but if you dreak down i'll come out and find you -- is it the guitar and singing? is it the unresovled grief? was it the too rough or that he didn't notice my body tensing up? or that when i said i wasn't sure if it was too rough and he kept going and i let him maybe its that we're doing an all in thing (sex) and a not at all in thing (non-relationship) i just feel like i've walked in to a space where i'm no longer safe i'm moving ahead with my heart but there is no committment- is that it? or that i dreamt all night about j and derek fighting... derek throwing a fit b/c j was there, camping in the grass. or is that i feel like i still should drive out and find d? like it feels wrong to leave him on the highway? or is that i've been ditched on the highway too many times for me to be ready to trust again?